While motherhood is of course something that is quite biologically self-evident in it’s meaning, we can also view it from a new, healthier perspective Motherhood doesn’t always denote a biological leaning, or perhaps something so easy to set in stone. A mother taking care of adopted children is in no way less of a ‘mother’ than someone who successfully conceived with a partner is. A mother isn’t only a singular role in a family either, as two happily married women can equally share that title, yet place their own definition on it. Some women, albeit half-jokingly, might even call themselves a mother to their beloved pets.
But if the definition of what a mother is can sometimes be tenuous, what could it be? No matter if you conceive through regular means, through professional IVF treatment, adopt or become a guardian for a child, exercising the correct amount of virtues and behaviors is where the jewel of motherhood lies. We have to ensure we are worthy of this role, because it is a beautiful one to keep.
We can do so in the following ways:
Motherhood is all in the presence you have with your family. It doesn’t necessarily mean you need to fulfill standard housewife roles without employment, but it doesn’t also mean that’s a negative or somehow demeaning thing to choose in life. What matters is the quality of your presence, and how you are able to form memories with those you love closest to you. Being there for the important moments, giving that gentle nudging shoulders or simply being responsive to those you love can help your natural motherhood shine through.
Motherhood is less of a series of direct choices and more of a complete impulse. Sometimes being present in the first instance can help that shine, and may be the only step you need to take a willing direction to implement. The best thing about motherhood is that it’s mutually nourishing between you and those you are responsible for, as it’s perhaps one of the most natural roles anyone can fulfill.
A mother’s guidance is perhaps one of the most authoritative and important things any growing individual can heed. Being able to take this viewpoint of only wanting the best for those you care for can remain a powerful force in itself, and you will likely feel that in yourself also. If you’re willing to help disseminate life lessons carefully, use what you have learned to help teach those you love ahead of time, and wish to serve as an example to a degree, you will be displaying admirable motherhood traits no matter who you are caring for.
Love is one of the most natural things in the world. It is the foundation for any and all feelings of motherhood. It is the basis for building a family unit. It can be shared by anyone, no matter what interpersonal roles you may wish to assign to one another. All mothers who love have the capacity to be great at what they do, but the reverse isn’t always guaranteed. Just as we suggested motherhood is a natural inclination of care, protection and nourishment, love is an extra helping of this, fuelled by it, and defined by it. Motherhood isn’t easy in any stretch of the imagination, but with love, even the hardest parts of the job can be extremely worthwhile.
This is perhaps one characteristic of motherhood that will never change, no matter how many years pass. This is a testament as to how a mother can be defined by her love for whoever she cares for, and why those who go without this can feel damaged.
While it may not be ‘cool’ for a teenage child to hear their mother’s praise, that in no way limits how appreciated it can be, especially in those insecure growing years. A mother’s encouragement can show someone they are distinctly on the right path, and give them the motivation to push further in that direction. This is how self-confidence is developed in children. Encouragement is the tool of guidance, as it leads with a lump of sugar and not a stick. Encouragement is an expression of love and willingness to listen. It must also be kept in check, because this is where the ‘pushy guardian’ cliche often comes into play, and may do more damage than good. However, great mothering is nothing without gentle encouragement, be that praise for a lesson learned, a virtue shown, or love returned.
Sooner or later, a child will learn that the world isn’t always on their side. This can be a bitter pill to swallow, yet we all must swallow it. In the end this is a good lesson, but it can come in healthier and less-preferred ways. However, a mother can often help soothe this lesson, provided they do not over-mother their children away from it. Wrapping any form of developing person in metaphorical cotton wool can often prevent their development, but a willingness to expose the issue and solve it or simply learn to avoid it intelligently can help a mother develop someone with character, with an understanding of how to control their emotions in that light. This can take some time to develop, and we all look at this differently, but it’s no less important for each of us to understand.
Perhaps one of the most important aspects of motherhood is to teach and present a careful understanding and leniency of failings. This might be forgiving your loved one after an apology, or forgiving yourself for not being the best person you can be day to day, because you are human too. Forgiveness can heal people, ensure people trust one another, and renew people’s emotions thoroughly. Forgiveness matters, and perhaps one of the most important qualities to learn on this list.
To our mind, these are some of the most important virtues that shine in good motherhood, no matter how you become a mother, or who you are. The hard and fast definitions of things are soon dissolving, leaving only the inner truths of what actually helps a role shine. If about to experience this journey, we hope it has given you some comfort.